unfinished case.

a lot of things happened today, i don't know where to start, but i am beginning.

around 3AM nervousness is running through my veins. it is sucking in in my brain. thinking negatively, my mind is reminding me of the case -- nothing will happen.

2PM this afternoon, we arrived in Hall of Justice. we came early, preparing how to present myself. the prosecutor called out our name for first settlement, the boys are not yet around, so automatically, we will be needing a second call. they didn't arrived without notice or any representative, the settlement now moved to another date.

another settlement date again. we were inside the prosecutor's office when i received a call.

hindi daw sila nakapag raise ng fund na ayon sa napag usapang halaga.
They can't raise a fund because of the large amount offered.

if it were not on their attorney, they will not be in that situation. Their attorney offered P75,000 to settle the case and finish this off. Huh! they think i am after with the money?  What an arrogant attorney.

Hambog masyado! tumawag nga sakin tapos sinasabi na i-settle nalang ang lahat outside the legal process. walang abogado, walang fiscal, kami kami nalang. i told my mom and my atty about it. pinagalitan ako ng mom ko. duh!! hindi naman ako tanga para makipag ayos ng ganun nalang, kaya nga may legal process eh. kung nag appear nalang sila kanina, e d sana tapos ang kaso. nakapag file na sana ako ng desistance ko! punyeta! panibagong hearing date nanaman. tangina, ayoko na ng ganito eh, habang tumatagal lalo lang nagiiba takbo ng pag iisip ko. nahihirapan na ako. iba yung pressure na naidudulot sakin ng lahat ng ito. ayoko na! gusto ko na matapos tong kaso and i want to move on completely. nahihirapan na ako eh, tangina minsan gusto ko na mag suicide dahil sa pressure na rin na naibibigay ng nakapaligid sakin na mga tao. lecheng buhay to.

after ng hearing, pumunta kami ng mom ko sa office para makuha na insurance ko. meron na, nairelease na pala. katangahan ko lang, naiwan ko I.D. ko para ipresent. bobo talaga.

around 7pm, i got home, nandun na pala si Philipp, naghihintay. i asked him kung kanina pa sya naghihintay sabi nya kanina pa daw. pinagpapalit na ako ng damit and everything, i told him i want to eat. sabi ko, " gusto ko mag mcdo " sabi nya, " ok, pero beh magpalit ka muna ng damit, grabeh pawis mo " ok fine. nagpalit ako and umalis na kami. bagong setup big bike nya, nanibago ako. tumaas konti, and medyo numipis ung seat. nagrereklamo ako, " beh, ang sakit sa pwet, nabawasan ung foam " ok lang yan, kulang yan sa ano... sabi ko, " LOKO ". we decided to get home, late na eh. 9PM na.


"hindi lahat ng negatibong bagay na dumadating sa ating buhay, ay nagpapahirap at nagbibigay ng problema satin. hudyat lang ito, na minsan hikayatin natin sarili natin na umintindi ng mga bagay na hindi pabor satin. try to see things in different perspective, because not all the things you think and understand is what it really tells and compliment. and not all the good things we know, we do is always good for us."