IMPERFECTIONS

IMPECTIONS
by: Chiie Atienza


     We cannot please everybody. It is a fact. No matter how hard we work to make things acceptable with what we do, no matter how humble we are to keep our feet on the ground, and no matter how we ignore the says despite the pain, we always encounter contradicting comments, violent reactions and opinions. It’s a reality we have to face in our everyday lives.


The criticisms and objections are undeniably present and our vast imperfections are the subject to judgment for our knowledge, beliefs, and principles. - chiie


     It is visibly true that not everyone has a smashing confidence, extraordinary talent, brilliant mind, luxurious aura, and a Mother Theresa’s heart to evidently leave a mark of our personality in each person. The criticisms and objections are undeniably present and our vast imperfections are the subject to judgment for our knowledge, beliefs, and principles.



We are what we say, therefore, I am who am.
In silence I think -- therefore I am CHIIE.


     We are raw and half-baked in every way and I believe the most difficult part is to prove ourselves to the world — we may not posses a unique character but we have something to offer, unfortunately, we tend to live by their standards -— a societal standard. As much as we do not want to be compared, though we acknowledge and respect their capabilities, people seized to look differently in each of our own closets but categorized.


     The society has distinctive views which do not mean we consider their judgment to be wrong and bias. We are entitled to our own opinions — respect. In effect, we expect people to respect our ideology and vision of profession. Apparently, some people oppose and criticize us, throw stones at us, not to mention the insult instead of keeping it to themselves, and drastically, pointing fingers to blame to save their ass without thinking in their head. We will not deviate from our own mindset just to satisfy others who are out to put us down. We stand on our own convictions and we are not to be belittled by anyone.


     It’s not how the discrimination pushes you down; it is how you fight back.

Brief at panty

napadaan lang.

TODAY | panty.
whew. nakahinga rin ng konte.... feeling ko hindi na masikip ung panty ko after the presentation last week. this week, puro quizzes na since prelim is fast approaching. dagdagan pa ng projects -- ok lang maraming kailangan, wag lang mawawalan ng pera T_T

TODAY | bokey na bulaklak at mahabang tobleron
belated Happy Birthday Maam Cel ^^ -- i gave her gifts in the class and un lang ^^ hihihi i love you maam. sayang d ako nakasama sa condo ni Elaine nung friday... wala kasama pag uwi eh >_<. ayaw ni Nice though game si Tina.

WEEKEND | project and shopping
i gave myself a treat, i bought 2 jeans 2 shirts and undergarments. actually hindi nga treat un eh, hahah. ah ewan! kupas na mga lonta ko. puputok na rin mga damit ko sa katabaan ko. wenks. un un eh. hahah

LAST WEEK | ang presentation
"maganda" yan ang comment ni Sir Norby sa presentation namin... weeeee!!
Good job sa lahat ^^

LAST LAST WEEK | kasalanan ng Cellphone.
For the first time, nakagawa ako ng parang ikamamatay ko na.... TUMUNOG CP KO! sa class ni Sir Norby. Awch!!~ here comes the fire, hindi ako nag admit agad because i want to make sure na saken nga galing un. during break time, i approached him and tell him it was mine.
wah!! Sir.... kung alam nyo lang T___T sorry po.

REALITY BITES

“Gaano mo kakilala ang iyong sarili?”
How well do you know yourself?


Last week my brother asked me to help him to his assignment about the humanity. The queries totally numbed me for a thought where I, myself been asking to through the years. The question shackled my body to the ground — I couldn’t move. It’s like a big stone that hit me straight unto my head. It’s like a challenge — to escape the twinge that is in me forever, to escape the viscous and torture in my life, to escape the hurt and scars of reality.

"Sumulat ng talata tungkol sa pagkatao mo."
Write about your whole personality


I feel that I do not fit in to people around me; they seem to be perfect. They judge human beings as if they are perfectly fine, as if they have a perfect life where nobody is distrust, dispute and a burden to them. I say I cannot fit in to their standard because I am imperfect, unwise and ugly.


"How do you see yourself?"


This is what I learned to live my life… in false hope and promises. Where everything is a big mistake and lies – from the decisions that I come up to, the things I do, to friends, school, family and even myself. Do their thing and you are nothing. Do nothing and you too is a worthless. Fuck. Reality bites.

Be yourself. Just be yourself. How many people have said this to you? Or have heard this? Do they still accept you for who you are and say nothing? Damn! Seldom have I tried my best -- capable of doing so but still the ruthless judgment is slapping my face. I seem still not befit and belong to them.
When reality is trying to betray my fate, I offered myself a frivolous experience — play the game. Pathetically, A game I can’t win forever. An insignificant gamble of fate and character.

I have tried being in in the world of fantasy – maybe now I can be myself even in a few span of time. It has been... merely seven years now and I cannot imagine how I indulged and embraced the virtual life and turned it to reality. A piteous life where I wished I have never been born at all, no… that’s exaggeration… I mean, I wished I have never given so much attention to. Regret is not the right word to describe the feeling neither agony; perhaps a reflection. A reflection of unwanted perceptions and unfortunate experiences that you may wanted to destroy the memoir that is with you in your entire life. A fast bullet that could kill you in a minute or so. The stab of a knife that saps the wound into your body and slowly will rob your life. Inevitable experiences, unattainable moments, chaos in real life – this is what virtual life has given me…. it made my life more miserable. From the people who made an impact to my life, to friends who ruined me and eventually to the game that I have lost the interest.


"Define your life"

My life is an endless battle, i might win in the end but struggling.

another HELL of Semester.

i never expected that Ms Concha, our college evaluator will really require me to shift from Tariff and Customs Administration to Customs Administration and the reason is inevitable but the curriculum also requires me to take NEW SUBJECTS, that unfortunately i took already in my early years of studying. I don't understand why they have to reconsider the OLD and NEW SUBJECT description when in fact i passed the subjects. anyway, am i ranting? i hope not. >_<
MUST DO: deadline June 20, 2008
TARIFF 2: Memorize
Section 101 of the TCCP
Section 105 of the TCCP

TARIFF 6: recitation
SPECIAL DUTIES: Dumping Duty
support answers with CASES.

CUSTOMS 3
Study PPA 13-77 & PD 857

CUSTOMS 4: Memorize
Section 1001-1112

Exaggeration? hahaha hell noh! thats normal for our professors (awch!) and a burden to keep specially if you have a whopping 7am - 8.30PM schedule to die for.

i am still breathing and i am still coping with my headache until now.. i guess i am fine?

Not a BAD HAIR DAY ^^

ahahaha, i never thought that the photos will turn out to be really funny and cute?
xD i had fun ^^











= the end =
LOL

inspirational sickness


aw! stolen?

i am sick. sever head pain is to endure and shrug it off if you want to do something better.

INSPIRED.
though i am in pain, i edited and dramatized my sicked photo.


1280 x 960



800 x 600



STRESSFUL !!

tour sa baguio,
graduation pic,
case study in customs,
every tuesdays and fridays evaluation exams,
minor in morning, major in evening,
saturday: compilation of materials

i don't and want to think that i don't have much time for myself. i don't want to think na stressed na talaga ako kahit ... yeah... sa tingin ko nga. sabayan pa ng Depression, frustration and humilation :(
nakaka pagod talaga... hindi ko na alam kung ano iisipin ko T__T dagdagan pa ng problema sa ibang subject.

anyway, napadaan lang ako kasi mukhang ewan na tong blog ko. wala ng kalaman laman kahit gusto ko lagyan araw araw.

ingat lage.

this time i surrender ....

Dear Philipp,

you know how much i love you.. you know how much i care, but good things never last forever. time change and so do people. we shared so many things and i learned a lot from it. i'll always treasure the good and bad experience we had.

it is hard to end a relationship that easy.. so hard to that we may wanna think of what we've been through and hold on but we can't no longer continue for some reasons that we seize to understand at times. asking ourselves where did we go wrong.. i never expected this, but the hurt is not tolerable anymore and i can't hold my patience further.

i love you and you know how much i really love you but i love myself too.. and loving you taught me that i should keep a little respect and peace of mind for myself.

i am so sorry for everything, i am really sorry.. God has a better plan for both of us and just be thankful for the blessing that will shower upon us. One year and one month in relationship was never easy to let go and move on.. thank you for everything Philipp... thank you.

i love you ... goodbye.

Happy New Year!! 2008

HAPPPPPY NEWW YEAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goodbye 2007 and Hello 2008 !!

Happy HaYooooweeen


pag gunita sa mga yumaong minamahal sa buhay, yan ang ginawa namin ng pamilya ko kagabi sa Himlayang Pilipino. namiss ko pumasyal sa bagong bahay ng lola at kuya ko.. wala lang T__T






Happy halloween everyone ^^ (mukha palang halimaw na. wahahah \m/)

halukay ube in ojt

kanina natuwa ako na absent si mam baby. ahaha bad eh noh? hindi.. wala kasi akong sariling pwesto sa office, lagi nalang ako nakikisingit sa desk ni maam baby. so yun kanina absent sya, natuwa ako kasi solo ko na pero at the back of my mind, toinks baka maging telephone operator lang labas ko buong araw. hindi ako nakuntento so tinanong ko si maam liezel kung may ipapagawa sya.

habang ginagawa ko ung filing ng documents ni maam baby, narinig ko nag-inarte ung isang babae sa likod. hanapin daw ung mga file nya kasi wala syang kopya. so naisip ko, hay buhay ako nanaman maghahanap nyan, pero ok lang sabi ko madali lang yan. medyo naiirita ako sa boses nung babae yun kasi boses kike. wahahaha. tapos nagmamaganda pa, eh kala mo naman kagandahan talaga. >_< wenks.

nahanap ko naman (wishees! sa tagal!) nairita lang ako kasi as in hinalukay ko pa ung mga files ng accounting. as in wala sa ayos >_<

so un. wala lang, nairita lang ako. in return, natuwa ako kasi alam ko na ung shortcut papunta sa office namen. ^^ hindi na ako 20mins maglalakad. ahahaha

Chaplet Prayer

Do you know how to pray the rosary? I am not.

My mentor was telling us how sacred Chaplet was. It is for a 3 o' clock prayer for people who are in grief, sick, and need aid of mercy. I honestly do not believe in long prayers especially if you are not helping yourself to do good deeds. Avoiding negative thoughts is one way of worshiping God more importantly unto others.

I thought directing to Him is best because it is coming from the heart. I didn't know that praying the Rosary will help heal sick people and those who are in pain. Praying the Rosary will lessen the burden of Christ to those who sins (i am one of those). I now understand that praying the Rosary is a collective prayer giving aid to people who needs Guidance and Peace of mind.

Caught in Naughty act

natawa ako nung bumista ako sa blog ni Yatot kanina, at natawa ako sa nabasa kong TITI article na yan, ahahah bigla tuloy pumasok sa mapaglarong isipan ko ung kwinento ng prof namin...

Sa isang ospital...

LOLA: (may cancer) dok, anong gagawin nyo sakin?
DOKTOR: che-chemo lola.
LOLA: TITI mo rin !! bastos ka! walang modo! pakyu!!

hiatus mode

all my life I've been like this -- ruled by other people and what they dictate should be follow or else!.. sometimes i am me, more often not.



i need time to heal.
i need time to catch up.
i need to say goodbye.




Death Anniversary ni Ambet

Dear Ambet,

Miss ka na namin sobra... hindi mo naman siguro maikakaila na miss mo na rin kami kasi kung sino sino iniinvite mo sa mga dreams nila para samahan ka jan. hahaha, joke lang. kita mo naman, dami mong bisita.. hay nakakapagod nga lang kasi bata-batalyon mga iniwan mo na barkada mo. wenks >_< miss u na sobra ^^ muwaaah~~~

Happy Death Anniversary ambetes ^^ sana happy ka jan sa place mo. thank you din ng marami kasi kahit alam namin na wala ka dito physically, spiritually nararamdaman ka pa rin namin. Bet, thanks kasi jan ka pa rin lagi for us, lalo na kay mamoots.

Guide mo kami lagi ha? ^^ hehehe next month, bday mo naman.. awww dami nanaman tao. parang laging new year. haha.
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