Dear Philipp,

you know how much i love you.. you know how much i care, but good things never last forever. time change and so do people. we shared so many things and i learned a lot from it. i'll always treasure the good and bad experience we had.

it is hard to end a relationship that easy.. so hard to that we may wanna think of what we've been through and hold on but we can't no longer continue for some reasons that we seize to understand at times. asking ourselves where did we go wrong.. i never expected this, but the hurt is not tolerable anymore and i can't hold my patience further.

i love you and you know how much i really love you but i love myself too.. and loving you taught me that i should keep a little respect and peace of mind for myself.

i am so sorry for everything, i am really sorry.. God has a better plan for both of us and just be thankful for the blessing that will shower upon us. One year and one month in relationship was never easy to let go and move on.. thank you for everything Philipp... thank you.

i love you ... goodbye.

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HAPPPPPY NEWW YEAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goodbye 2007 and Hello 2008 !!

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pag gunita sa mga yumaong minamahal sa buhay, yan ang ginawa namin ng pamilya ko kagabi sa Himlayang Pilipino. namiss ko pumasyal sa bagong bahay ng lola at kuya ko.. wala lang T__T

Happy halloween everyone ^^ (mukha palang halimaw na. wahahah \m/)

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kanina natuwa ako na absent si mam baby. ahaha bad eh noh? hindi.. wala kasi akong sariling pwesto sa office, lagi nalang ako nakikisingit sa desk ni maam baby. so yun kanina absent sya, natuwa ako kasi solo ko na pero at the back of my mind, toinks baka maging telephone operator lang labas ko buong araw. hindi ako nakuntento so tinanong ko si maam liezel kung may ipapagawa sya.

habang ginagawa ko ung filing ng documents ni maam baby, narinig ko nag-inarte ung isang babae sa likod. hanapin daw ung mga file nya kasi wala syang kopya. so naisip ko, hay buhay ako nanaman maghahanap nyan, pero ok lang sabi ko madali lang yan. medyo naiirita ako sa boses nung babae yun kasi boses kike. wahahaha. tapos nagmamaganda pa, eh kala mo naman kagandahan talaga. >_< wenks.

nahanap ko naman (wishees! sa tagal!) nairita lang ako kasi as in hinalukay ko pa ung mga files ng accounting. as in wala sa ayos >_<

so un. wala lang, nairita lang ako. in return, natuwa ako kasi alam ko na ung shortcut papunta sa office namen. ^^ hindi na ako 20mins maglalakad. ahahaha

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Do you know how to pray the rosary? I am not.

My mentor was telling us how sacred Chaplet was. It is for a 3 o' clock prayer for people who are in grief, sick, and need aid of mercy. I honestly do not believe in long prayers especially if you are not helping yourself to do good deeds. Avoiding negative thoughts is one way of worshiping God more importantly unto others.

I thought directing to Him is best because it is coming from the heart. I didn't know that praying the Rosary will help heal sick people and those who are in pain. Praying the Rosary will lessen the burden of Christ to those who sins (i am one of those). I now understand that praying the Rosary is a collective prayer giving aid to people who needs Guidance and Peace of mind.

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natawa ako nung bumista ako sa blog ni Yatot kanina, at natawa ako sa nabasa kong TITI article na yan, ahahah bigla tuloy pumasok sa mapaglarong isipan ko ung kwinento ng prof namin...

Sa isang ospital...

LOLA: (may cancer) dok, anong gagawin nyo sakin?
DOKTOR: che-chemo lola.
LOLA: TITI mo rin !! bastos ka! walang modo! pakyu!!

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all my life I've been like this -- ruled by other people and what they dictate should be follow or else!.. sometimes i am me, more often not.

i need time to heal.
i need time to catch up.
i need to say goodbye.

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Dear Ambet,

Miss ka na namin sobra... hindi mo naman siguro maikakaila na miss mo na rin kami kasi kung sino sino iniinvite mo sa mga dreams nila para samahan ka jan. hahaha, joke lang. kita mo naman, dami mong bisita.. hay nakakapagod nga lang kasi bata-batalyon mga iniwan mo na barkada mo. wenks >_< miss u na sobra ^^ muwaaah~~~

Happy Death Anniversary ambetes ^^ sana happy ka jan sa place mo. thank you din ng marami kasi kahit alam namin na wala ka dito physically, spiritually nararamdaman ka pa rin namin. Bet, thanks kasi jan ka pa rin lagi for us, lalo na kay mamoots.

Guide mo kami lagi ha? ^^ hehehe next month, bday mo naman.. awww dami nanaman tao. parang laging new year. haha.

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HAPPY ANNIVERSARY miztakumi.blogspot.com

looking back and highlights of Miztakumi happened one year,
July - my brother passed away.
Aug - made a blog for my late brother. mom's grief on her birthday
Sept - the informal break-up, got scammed for job haunting
Oct - 5 facts about me
Nov - new boyfriend
Dec - Typhoon, and sad Christmas
Feb - my life and death battle
March - my 23rd birthday
April - the hearing
May - Closure


Gooodluck and God blessseseses. More visitors to come!.

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nakaka inis! bakit si bodie pa ung hindi nasama sa big-4 ng PBB? nakaka inis! i hate wendy!!~ puro pag iinarte. oo nga prangka and totoo nga, pero wala na sa lugar minsan pag iinarte nya. ah basta~!! ayaw ko kay wendy. sayang din si nel. hay naku. nakaka pang hinayang lang.


baduy talaga ng PBB Season 2. CORNY.

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I've been spending some time
Thinking il be alright
Don't know if I can really make it tonight

lie awake in the dark
Calm down, then I'll start
Thinking about you
It's almost breaking my heart

I don't know where I went wrong
Or what's going on
Baby, I feel like our love lost  tonight
Should I stay, should I go
Well I really don't know
Lately I've been missing you so

Baby you don't understand
Our love lies lost but
You're still holding my hand
Oh, and then you walk away
Just tonight, i want you to stay

You're turning me on
You turn me around
You turn my whole world upside down
You're turning me on
You turn me around
You turn my whole world upside down

Everytime I hurt you, well it's hurting me too
Don't know if I could really stay here tonight
tired of thinking of you, and everything that you do
Tell me, what am I supposed to do
Well I just wanted to say that I need you today
Tell me, it's all gonna work out all right
i Don't know where I should start, but with all of my heart
Baby let me be your lover tonight

Baby you don't understand
Our love lies lost but
You're still holding my hand
Oh, and then you walk away
Just tonight, i want you to stay

You're turning me on
You turn me around
You turn my whole world upside down
You're turning me on
You turn me around
You turn my whole world upside down

oh..You know...you turn me upside down...
You know...you turn me upside down...

You're turning me on
You turn me around
You turn my whole world upside down
You're turning me on
You turn me around
You turn my whole world upside down

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RULES:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Media Player, iPod, Winamp etc.)
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing.
5. When you go to the next question,press the next button.
6. Don’t lie and pretend you’re cool.
7. When you’re finished, tag some other people to do it!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i've been tagged by Raymond. (thx for the tag `mond)

A. OPENING CREDITS - Upside down by 6cycle mind
So Sweet. kakatapos lang namin mag usap ni philipp because its already sunrise, and even though patulog palang kami ang ganda ng last song syndrome effect. hahaha. wala lang, para kasi kaming aso at pusa. laging may "woof and meow" sa relationship, nakakatuwa lang..
B. WAKING UP - Hotel California by Eagles
OMG! parang hindi ata wake up to sakin. nakaka antok lang eh. hahaha. but i like the scalling of the guitar.
C. FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL - When I met you by APO Hiking Society
Inay ko po!! Young love, sweet love ba inatupag ko nun? hahaha parang hindi ata.. lolz. Anung konek? waaaa.
D. FALLING IN LOVE - I Feel Good by James Brown
WoW!! "woah! I feel good, i know i would.., so good, so good i got you! wooah! So nice ... sugar and spice" hahaha. ayos to ha, lakas mang asar ng player ko. hahaha.
E. FIRST SONG - You're beautiful by James Blunt
oh yeah!! hahaha. lagi ko nga sinasabi panget ako, tapos eto naman you're beautiful. susmio -_-
F. BREAKING UP - God is good all the time by Don Moen
Amazing~ this is true ^^ i feel blessed kapag nagigising ako sa mga sufferings, sacrifices ko para sa benefit ng ibang tao at times, mostly in one-sided relationships. God is Good.. all the time !! (woooo seryoso na ako neto? heheh)
G. PROM - Freak me by Another level
Woooot~~ natatawa tuloy ako, naalala ko ung prom namin, dami naging cinderella at dami rin naging frog prince. hahahaha! high school life nga naman. read the lyrics, "let me lick you up and up `til you say stop! let me play with your body baby make you real hot, let me do all the things you want me to do.. coz tonight baby i wanna get freaky with you" haha.
H. LIFE - Someday we'll know by Mandy Moore (Walk to remember OST)
Perfect! somebody we will know .... somebody we will understand life. Wala akong masabe! the lyric says it all.
I. MENTAL BREAKDOWN - February by Typecast (Filipino Rock band)
this is a good song. a filipino band who has a powerful lyrics, good choice of melody or rhythm and emo \m/ "the floor is empty where we used to lie i remember every moments im with you the season is changing the summer is here i wish to be with you i want you here here i am expecting for the best and there you are a hundred miles away" medyo malayo sa Mental breakdown, but the band is one of a mental breakdown. hahahah.
J. DRIVING - Power of two by Indigo Girls
Perfect!! i miss him for this. driving around and hugging him in the middle of the road, talking whatever things. .."coz we're okey, we're fine baby im here to stop your"..... being on the road, sometimes makes u wonder a lot of things -- crazy things.
K. FLASHBACK - Hush by LL Cool J feat. Mashonda
awtz, may connection ba? parang wala lang eh. eh bakit ba! un ang natapat eh. lolz. loka loka.
L. GETTING BACK TOGETHER - Runaway by The Corrs
Bongga! Getting back nga eh! bakit runaway lumabas?? hmmm... ano yan i-reverse daw ba? ahaha. "Cause I am falling in love with you, No never I'm never gonna stop, Falling in love with you"
M. WEDDING - Only Hope by Mandy Moore
Tragic.... `wag naman sana ma-ala` A Walk to Remember ang wedding day ko di ba? tsk tsk tsk! but this is what i love in this song ... "I give you my destiny, I'm givin' you all of me, I want your symphony singing in all that I am, At the top of lungs,I'm givin' it back" ang sweet di ba? hehehe. Pwede~~~
N. BIRTH OF A CHILD - Promiscuous Girl by Nelly Furtado
Teaser??? awtz! this is not me! and i can't even imagine myself being promiscuous. Never! hahahaha. "I’m only trying to get inside your brain, To see if you can work me, The way you say. It's OK, it's alright, I got something that you don't like.." Naughty huh... i like it! lolz!
O. FINAL BATTLE - Siren by Tori Amos (Great Expectations' OST)
i like the genre of this music. although it is not perfect for a final battle in general but for a girl who is trying to survive in her own battle could mean a second thought. "NEVER was one for a prissy girl coquette, Call in for an ambulance reach high doesn´t mean SHE´S holy just means She´s got a cellular handy almost Brave almost pregnant.... No teenage flesh know that she'll know she breaks my Siren."
P. DEATH SCENE - Bombtrack by Rage Against the machine (rock metal band)
"...With the thoughts from a militant mind. Hardline, hardline after hardline! Landlords and power whores On my people they took turns Dispute the suits I ignite And then watch 'em burn" this band ROCK!! \m/ (awtz!)
Q. FUNERAL SONG - Scars of a Falling heart by Typecast
Quite far. but for me, it says.. when you lose sight of love, it feels like you`re dying... ay! anu ba ung sinasabi ko? hahaha. eto na nga lang lyrics "broken hopes falling away don't you have something to say? does it make you sleep? emptiness of words that you've said scars in my heart that you left now i'm close to dying everything's failing with thoughts of you now i'm down without knowing what's true with the way you look at someone else everyone's saying just try to be strong"
R. END CREDIT - No ordinary love by Urbandub
another filipino band who invades the Philippine Rock music. parang International band ang dating nila.. grabeh, you should listen to their songs. But for an ending credit?, this Rock! \m/"I gave you all the love I got, I gave you more than I could give, gave you love, I gave you all that I have inside, But you took my love, you took my love..." try nyo download sa mga hindi pa nakakarinig ng songs nila, awayin nyo ko pag hindi nyo na-appreciate ^^ heheh.

TAGGING:
Karmi, Cai, Sheejaey, Kuya Benjo, Ms Jones, Ninong & Ate Melai and sa mga gusto rin magtry ^^ hehehe.

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*sigh* finally, nakapag post din ako after several weeks, days and minutes of longing to enter a new post. I’ve been busy to so many things that took me weeks to complete. I learned so many things, discovered secrets, and enlightened.

Closure. I want to put an end to my pressure. Pressure that cannot compare by any kind of normal circumstances that we encounter from our every lives. This pressure had put me into a situation where i have to think and consider people around me who among them are my real friends and enemies. For the past several months that this case had beend going -- a silent process of bargaining of my moral, principle and privacy. I regret filling this case to those men who brought my life in trouble, miserable and most of all in danger. I regret it because I thought I have friends who will support, defend and fight for me until the end. But that was just a thought -- self-denial "they are only busy" (paksyet! un na nga eh, laging busy! taena nyo! mamamatay nalang ako sa sakit ng ulo ko hindi nyo pa alam.)

Closure -- I will put an end to a friendship I thought was real and undeniable; firm and strong; no malice nor jealous; limitless and honest but i was wrong. You cannot live and stay forever in a friendship were you are bound to be happy and when problems arise -- you are out of the scene, then you have to wear a mask to cover the pain.

*now i know who my true friends are.

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a lot of things happened today, i don't know where to start, but i am beginning.

around 3AM nervousness is running through my veins. it is sucking in in my brain. thinking negatively, my mind is reminding me of the case -- nothing will happen.

2PM this afternoon, we arrived in Hall of Justice. we came early, preparing how to present myself. the prosecutor called out our name for first settlement, the boys are not yet around, so automatically, we will be needing a second call. they didn't arrived without notice or any representative, the settlement now moved to another date.

another settlement date again. we were inside the prosecutor's office when i received a call.

hindi daw sila nakapag raise ng fund na ayon sa napag usapang halaga.
They can't raise a fund because of the large amount offered.

if it were not on their attorney, they will not be in that situation. Their attorney offered P75,000 to settle the case and finish this off. Huh! they think i am after with the money?  What an arrogant attorney.

Hambog masyado! tumawag nga sakin tapos sinasabi na i-settle nalang ang lahat outside the legal process. walang abogado, walang fiscal, kami kami nalang. i told my mom and my atty about it. pinagalitan ako ng mom ko. duh!! hindi naman ako tanga para makipag ayos ng ganun nalang, kaya nga may legal process eh. kung nag appear nalang sila kanina, e d sana tapos ang kaso. nakapag file na sana ako ng desistance ko! punyeta! panibagong hearing date nanaman. tangina, ayoko na ng ganito eh, habang tumatagal lalo lang nagiiba takbo ng pag iisip ko. nahihirapan na ako. iba yung pressure na naidudulot sakin ng lahat ng ito. ayoko na! gusto ko na matapos tong kaso and i want to move on completely. nahihirapan na ako eh, tangina minsan gusto ko na mag suicide dahil sa pressure na rin na naibibigay ng nakapaligid sakin na mga tao. lecheng buhay to.

after ng hearing, pumunta kami ng mom ko sa office para makuha na insurance ko. meron na, nairelease na pala. katangahan ko lang, naiwan ko I.D. ko para ipresent. bobo talaga.

around 7pm, i got home, nandun na pala si Philipp, naghihintay. i asked him kung kanina pa sya naghihintay sabi nya kanina pa daw. pinagpapalit na ako ng damit and everything, i told him i want to eat. sabi ko, " gusto ko mag mcdo " sabi nya, " ok, pero beh magpalit ka muna ng damit, grabeh pawis mo " ok fine. nagpalit ako and umalis na kami. bagong setup big bike nya, nanibago ako. tumaas konti, and medyo numipis ung seat. nagrereklamo ako, " beh, ang sakit sa pwet, nabawasan ung foam " ok lang yan, kulang yan sa ano... sabi ko, " LOKO ". we decided to get home, late na eh. 9PM na.


"hindi lahat ng negatibong bagay na dumadating sa ating buhay, ay nagpapahirap at nagbibigay ng problema satin. hudyat lang ito, na minsan hikayatin natin sarili natin na umintindi ng mga bagay na hindi pabor satin. try to see things in different perspective, because not all the things you think and understand is what it really tells and compliment. and not all the good things we know, we do is always good for us."

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yesterday, i went to school to check the subjects offered this summer and see if i could advance my subjects left. when i saw the subjects offered, TARIFF 1 and CUSTOMS 1 were only posted. unfortunately, i only have 3 major subjects left and 1 mock board review that offers during second semester only.

since i have nothing to do about it, i just bought a bag. (at least, an alternative way to boost my pride?) just to give credit for myself.

i bought this bag at SM North Edsa at P600.00 A great find indeed. But if you are on a tight budget, you can purchase this in Quiapo, Manila. Similar item but with a little damages or quality unwise.

made of native craft from philippines. the texture is fine and smooth and the compartment is quite spacey, good enough if you have additional stuff other than Cellphone, wallet, coin purse and cologne. Make-up not included because you can't find it in my purse. this bag is best suit in placing it in elbow to add sophisticated look. 

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